William Barnhill

JOE WALKER, an 80-something, former chain smoking,
abusive alcoholic is unwillingly checked into Happy Smiles
Senior Care facility near Bakersfield, California by his
daughter HOPE and her gold digging fiancé LAMAR. The
facility, located beside a vast melon growing, agricultural
area, is a rundown dump the site of which conjurers up the
smell of Lysol and urine. The facility's director, DOCTOR
BODERE, is a 40-something, southern non-gentleman who
is compensating his income by skimming money off the top
of the operation.

Once in the care facility Joe meets JERRY, an
80-something, Jewish retired CPA. Joe learns that Jerry
was put into the facility by his children after he tried to
disconnect his Alzheimer ravaged wife from a ventilator.
Later in the activities room Joe is introduced to Jerry's
geriatric sidekicks: DUKE a free wheeling, former road
manager for a sixties rock group; SARAH, a free spirited
English women; NATE, an African-American, Shakespeare
touting, retired actor with a failing memory; and BOBBY, an
ex-minor league baseball player in a wheel chair.

Duke tells Joe his situation is hopeless and gives him the
low down on Bodere and his cronies who are bullying the
residents. Joe does not believe Duke and clings onto the
belief that his daughter will come back and take him home.
Bodere who has it in for Duke, finds out that he has a
garden out behind the facility. After an altercation Bodere
makes Duke pull up his garden. Seeking revenge Duke
contaminates the toilet paper in Bodere's office restroom
with juice from a Jalapeño pepper.

After Duke's painful revenge Bodere gets his own by
putting Duke in "isolation therapy". Meanwhile Joe has a set
back when his daughter Hope comes to visit. She almost
concedes to Joe's pleading to take him home until she
finds cigarettes and booze hidden in his room. At the same
time Jerry has just been informed that his favorite grandson
is going away for the summer and unless he acts fast,
Jerry will not see him for months.

Jerry steals the facility van in order to see his grandson
and make good on a promise to his wife. At Joe's home
Lamar has convinced Hope to move in and take
possession of the house, Joe's belongings and Joe's
savings. The orderlies finally capture Jerry but not before
he visits his grandson and is finally successful at
disconnecting his brain-dead wife from the ventilator. Back
at the facility Jerry suffers a massive heart attack and dies
as a result of being muscled around by Bodere's goons.

Duke is returned to the general population and learns of his
friend Jerry's death. Distraught he metaphorically compares
his life with that of the watermelons in the fields around
them. He wants to be a good melon and go to market not a
cracked one turned under in the fields for fertilizer. It is
then, along with Sarah, Bobby and Nate, that they decide to
hatch a bold plan to escape to property that Duke secretly
owns in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Joe, still reluctant to get
involved with anything that might jeopardize his chances of
going home, refuses involvement in Duke's plan. Later,
however, Joe gets a letter that he believes is from his
daughter condemning him and his past actions.

Unknown to Joe the letter was actually written by Lamar
who seeks to slam shut the final door between Joe and
Hope. Feeling that his last chance has evaporated Joe joins
Duke and the others and they plan the escape. During a
movie matinee in town they use fake IDs and disguises to
gain access to their moneys that have been taken over by
their families. Duke has to give Nate a tape recorder to
keep his on-and-off-again memory from jeopardizing their
escape. With all the final pieces in place they set the
wheels in motion in the predawn hours. They escape with
the help of migrant workers on board a watermelon truck
from the nearby fields.

Meanwhile back at Joe's house Hope finds a letter from her father
that exposes Lamar's deception. Hope drives Lamar from the house
with a can of deodorizer and goes to bring Joe home. Reaching the
farmer's market in Los Angeles, Duke and the others narrowly avoid
being taken back by Bodere and his orderlies. After creating a
produce avalanche at the market they make it to the bus station
where they head south to Mexico.

On the bus just miles from the border, they begin to celebrate their
newly won freedom prematurely. Behind them coming up fast are
police cars, Bodere's car with Hope and the van carrying the
orderlies. In a desperate act Duke throws Bobby's wheel chair out
the back of the bus and jettisons the toilet holding tank of the bus
creating a stinky, traffic pile up. Finally reaching the border the bus
comes to a screeching halt. Duke, Sarah, Bobby and Joe limp, hobble
and walker their way across into Mexico with Bodere and his goons
in hot pursuit.

Bodere and Duke tussle as the Mexican border police draw their
guns. Duke plants a bag of medicinal marijuana in Bodere's pocket
which is found by the Mexican police. Bodere and his men cry like
babies as they are arrested for drug smuggling and hauled off to a
Mexican jail. Joe is reunited with Hope and his grandchildren finally
getting to return home.

Some time later in a market in Cabo San Lucas, Nate is shopping,
walking from stall to stall checking the fruits and vegetables.
Forgetting why he is there he finally flips on the tape recorder and
hears Duke barking his shopping requests along with Sarah and
Bobby. Nate places the tape recorder, with the voices of the others
still rambling on, down among a pile of perfect, green, ripe
watermelons.
*